Koz anglais : Unruly Neighbours
You know that saying ‘Be careful what you wish for’? When you long for something that you are so sure you want, until one day you get it, and it turns out to be hell on earth? Yeah, I’m pretty familiar with it now.
I moved into a flat 6 months ago and although the flat is great, it’s well priced and spacious, I quickly noticed that mine was the only flat inhabited in the entire building. That’s one out of a possible 6. The nights grew long and lonely and before I knew it I was posting ads trying to get the word out about the apartments to rent. And it worked! The next thing I knew, I was seeing people come and visit the flats on a daily basis. At this point I was feeling pretty smug, imagining myself chatting with my soon-to-be neighbours over a bottle of wine.
Well someone should have just slapped me right there. It didn’t quite turn out that way. That’s an understatement. A few nights later at about 2am, I was swatting off mosquitos half asleep when I heard what I thought was a burglar trying to break into my flat. Terrified, I jumped out of bed and grabbed my weapon of choice, which due to little choice was my hairbrush, and crept towards the living room. Lights on, no-one was inside. But the front door handle was moving up and down and I was freaking out. I looked through the peephole and what did I see? A woman, maybe in her fifties, crazily looking around her and talking to herself, laughing and shouting all at once. I genuinely thought I was in a scene from an M. Night Shyamalan movie.
I was preparing to call the police when through the peephole I saw the door from the flat opposite open and a young woman drag her inside.
The rest of the night was a bit of a sleepless blur. When I left the flat the next day, I bumped into the same woman, who, seemingly oblivious to the events of the night before, introduced herself as my new neighbour. So there we go. I got what I wanted right? We don’t chat about our days or have a drink together, but every now and then I get the chance to hear her banging mistakenly on my door and I never feel alone, because she leaves rubbish in all of the communal spaces. Moral of the story? Be careful what you wish for.
Vocabulary
to long for = désirer
pretty = assez
to move = déménager
flat = appartement
although = bien que
to notice = remarquer
to chat = bavarder
ads = annonces
smug = arrogant
to slap = gifler
understatement = minimisation
to grab = saisir
to creep = se faufiler
door handle = poignet
to freak out = flipper
peephole = judas
to bump into = croiser
oblivious = inconscient
mistakenly = par erreur
rubbish = déchets